Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Four


 
I backed into the garage and before I could even get out of the car, she was at the trunk pulling out all the things we bought.  “Liv, let me get the heavier bags…”
She stopped grabbing for the bags and looked up at me with a semi-startled look, like I had said something wrong.  “Something wrong?” I asked, confused.
“What did you just call me?”
“Um, Liv?  Is that a bad word in German that I don’t know?”
She giggled and began blushing, “No, it is just that no one has ever called me that and I really like it.”
Phew.  “Well then I guess I have officially given you a nickname,” I laughed as I reached into the trunk and pulled out the heavier bags.  “I think Liv has a nice ring to it.”
She smiled broadly and nodded her head.
She was chatting non-stop about how nice my place was every time we entered a different room to get to the kitchen.  “You really keep it clean and look at the Christmas decorations!!” she exclaimed, “You Americans are all about starting the Christmas season early…”
“Whoa there!  I am not American!  I am Canadian and there is a big difference,” I cut her off in a loud voice.
She stopped and bit her lip, looking like she had just been scolded and was afraid I was going to hit her or something.
“I’m sorry, I was just trying to get my point across,” I said quietly as I stepped towards her.  “I wasn’t yelling at you.”
Her face instantly perked up and she smiled shyly.
Why did she become so scared? Something is definitely not right.  “About the Christmas decorations,” I said, trying to change the subject as I put the groceries on the counter.  “My mom was here a week ago and brought all this stuff along.  A lot of it was in my house when I was growing up, so she figured I would enjoy it since Christmas is my favorite holiday.”
“It’s my favorite holiday too!” she informed me happily.  “It’s just funny to see the decorations so early here in the States because we don’t normally decorate and things until a week or two before.  I actually don’t know if I’ll decorate this year, I don’t think there is any place to get a Christmas tree,” she said the last part almost to herself.
“I’m sure we can help you find something,” I said happily as I took the rest of the bags from her hands.
I watched as she went over to the sink to wash her hands and I quickly followed when I remembered that my mom had strategically placed some mistletoe above the sink.  She was chatting about something when I purposefully stood by her so that our sides were touching as I leaned in and washed my hands.
“Patience grasshopper,” she said as she lightly hip checked me and smiled carelessly.  “You will soon have your turn to wash your hands.”
“But then I wouldn’t have a chance to do this,” I blurted out, as I reached out with my wet hands to capture her waist and turn her towards me.  I leaned down towards her face, taking in the fact that her lips were already parted while her green eyes grew large with surprise.  “You are so beautiful,” I whispered right before I pressed my lips to hers, pulling her tiny frame to mine.  She seemed hesitant at first but soon I felt her arms snake around my neck and waist.  I reveled in the heat I felt radiating off her body and I couldn’t help but moan as she pulled herself even tighter against me.  I shivered when I felt the water from her hands drip down my back, but I believe it had more to do with the fact that she electrified me.
Her lips fit perfectly against mine and she tasted like a sweet candy-cane, keeping me begging for more as I entered her mouth with my tongue, searching for anyway to keep this feeling going.


His words shook me.  His kisses unraveled me.  I was afraid that if he wasn’t holding onto me, I probably would have floated off like a balloon.  Was this how things were supposed to be between a man and woman?  Was this what I had been missing out on throughout my whole relationship with Andreas?
His furry mustache tickled my skin as he kissed me, but I loved the feeling of it.  All my senses became heightened 100% and his cologne fogged up my brain.  I enjoyed how his strong body felt as he wrapped himself around me.  He was strong enough to crush me, yet he was so gentle.
I sighed when our lips finally parted a couple minutes later.  “What was that for?” I asked breathlessly.
A childish smile played at his moistened lips as I followed his blue eyes up to the mistletoe that was hanging above us.
“Devil,” I hissed jokingly.  “I will have to make sure that ist moved before I come back here tomorrow…” I murmured nervously while making some space between us by stepping over to the other counter, feeling my skin heat and tingle as his clear blue eyes caressed me.
“And I’ll just have to make sure I go out and purchase enough to cover every nook and cranny of my apartment so that I have an excuse to kiss you again,” he challenged back.  Something in my heart told me he was dead serious.
Soon I felt his tall, hard body standing behind me while I began gathering the ingredients to make the marinade I was going to inject the turkey with.  He didn’t say anything; he just kept silent, like he was awaiting me to say something.
“I-I am engaged, Steven,” I spoke quietly, not turning around because I knew I wouldn’t be strong enough to say the words to his face.  He had already melted me like butter once and I couldn’t afford to let him do it to me again, for I would have been in his bed quicker than a whore who was paid to do so.
“I know,” he said as if he was being choked.  “I just needed to know how it would feel if I kissed you…”
“Und?” I asked, regretting it as soon as the word was out of my mouth.
“Und…” he said slowly placing his larger hands on my shoulders and turning me so that we were facing each other once again.  He looked deep into my eyes and tethered me to him as he spoke.  “Und I want to do it again and again until you realize that there are better options than Andreas.”
“You do not understand,” I mumbled and looked away, trying to wish away the tears that were beginning to fill my eyes.  I couldn’t hold back the sob when I felt his large hand gently caress my cheek like I was a porcelain doll.
“What I do understand is that you never look very happy when you talk of him,” he stated plainly, causing me to flinch at the truth of it.  “And I also understand that you are most beautiful when you are happy.”
“You do not need to say nice things like that to me…” I whispered, still not looking at him.
“They are words of truth, Olivia,” he said quietly as he kissed my head.  He took a deep breath and began giving me space as he said, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to put you in an awkward position.”
He sounded so sad and dejected that I almost believed that he was truly regretting kissing me.  It felt like a stranglehold was placed on my heart to know that I might have hurt his feelings.  “Steven” I breathed when I reached out towards him, stopping him from walking further away from me.
He turned towards me with a look that told me he was getting his way and one of thankfulness.  In one swift movement he pulled me into his arms once more and kissed me hard.  This kiss was totally different from our first, it was more demanding, like he had already taken the test and passed so this time he could be more reckless.
A moan slipped out as his large hand slid down my lower back and firmly squeezed my ass, his tongue assaulted my mouth.  I took pleasure in the feeling of him completely wrapping himself around me; like he wanted to prove to me that life could be so much better with someone that actually cared for me.
I whimpered when he broke our kiss, but I wasn’t sad for long as his lips nibbled at my ear and he began whispering, “Liv, my beautiful Olivia,” over and over again as tears began rolling down my cheeks from his onslaught of feelings and words.  I had rarely heard words of endearment from Andreas throughout our whole relationship, so I never thought it was possible for a man to say those things.  I just always assumed men only said things like this to women in the movies.
He was making a trail of moisture and heat down my neck when a sliver of sense sparked in a remote corner of my brain.  “Steven,” I choked out.
“Yeah?” he asked, his moustache making me giggle as it tickled the sensitive skin of my neck.
“We need to stop before I allow you to talk me into anything else, otherwise we won’t have any food to feed people tomorrow,” I said as straight faced as possible when he slowly lifted his head and looked at me like he had been scolded.
“I didn’t mean to make you feel pressured…” he said slowly.
I placed my hand to his lips to effectively shush him as I kissed his nose.  “I do not think you could pressure a mouse into eating a cookie,” I joked as I wrapped snuggled against his hard chest.
I felt him laughing inside as he ran his fingers through my hair and then down the whole length of my body before pulling me tight against him.  “I will try and behave, but I cannot make promises.”


Thanksgiving dinner was a success.  Somehow I was able to take Liv home the night before, at a decent hour so that she could come back over in the morning to begin the full preparation.  I laughed when she brought over construction paper and markers so that I could make Thanksgiving Day place-mats and soon I found myself weaving different colored paper together for the dinner settings.
“I feel like I’m back in pre-school again,” I whined jokingly as she came over to check on my progress.
“You make a good student,” she said as she kissed me on the head.  She attempted to head back to the kitchen but she did not get very far.  I reached out, grabbed her waist and pulled her onto my lap.  Her thin physique was no match for my strength as I held her squirming body against mine.  She stopped squirming as soon as I kissed her lips.
“And they always say you Germans can be so stubborn,” I joked.  “I think I found a weapon of mass destruction; kisses for the women.”
She jabbed at me, rolled her eyes and scrambled to get back up as the timer for the oven went off.
Everyone was seated around the table by 3pm, with a steaming spread in front of them.  Marty, Heather and the boys, Vinny, his long-time girlfriend Caroline and their little baby Victoria, and Downie who had come over a little early to help with some of the finishing touches of the meal, were all digging into.
I kept stealing glances of Olivia who was sitting across from me, between Luke St. Louis and Heather.  She would catch me occasionally, rewarding me with a smile or a wink.
“So taking a girl to the grocery store works out just as well as picking one up at the store?” Downie chirped as he helped me wash the dishes that didn’t fit into the dishwasher.
“Nah, it’s the mistletoe my mom insisted hanging above the sink here,” I joked back as I puckered up my lips and nodded up to the flower above our heads.
He jumped back and exclaimed, “Stammer, I will deal with you cheating on me with Olivia, but I ain’t kissing your ugly mug.”
I just laughed, flicked some soap suds at him and went back to washing the dishes.  I was finishing drying the roaster pan when Heather came into the kitchen with a concerned look on her face.
“Steven, Olivia is on her cell phone in your guest room in tears.  I can hear some man screaming at her in German…”
I didn’t even let her finish her words as I handed her the towel and pan and bounded upstairs to find Marty standing in the doorway while Liv sat on the floor with her knees pulled to her chest, tears flowing down her sweet face.
Marty just looked at me sadly as I pushed passed him and slid onto the floor, taking her hand in mine to grab her attention.  A deep voice could be heard screaming profanities over the phone.  I didn’t know enough German to understand what he was saying, but I knew enough that told me he wasn’t happy about something.
“Stopp, Andreas,” she said in a surprisingly calm and collective voice that didn’t show how upset she physically was.
Andreas.  It took all I had not to rip the phone out of her hand and begin screaming at the man who obviously made her so unhappy.
The yelling went on for at least 5 minutes more until Olivia cut him off and said, “Wiedersehen Andreas.  Ich liebe dich.”


As soon as I answered my cell phone, I knew it was the wrong thing to do.  I was sitting with Luke on my lap, reading him a children’s book that he insisted I read to him.
“Where are you?!” Andreas snapped into the phone.  “I tried calling your apartment and you didn’t answer.  You never not answer your phone when you aren’t at work.”
“I am over at my new friend’s house for Thanksgiving dinner,” I answered politely in German as I placed Luke back on the floor and walked upstairs for more privacy.
“Are these new friends the boys who supposedly play ice hockey?” he asked indignantly.
“Yes, they are, along with some more of the players and their families,” I said with a smile.
“What did I tell you about whoring yourself around?!” he exploded into the phone.
I just left him rant for awhile but of course the tears came.  They always came.  I just couldn’t let him hear them because that would only make him angrier.  I didn’t realize Marty was standing in the doorway until I looked up to find Steven in front of me with a worried face.
“…You will be at the phone in your apartment the next time I call Oliva.  Do you understand?  I will not tolerate this any longer.  You are mine and you will follow my rules, whether you are across the Atlantic Ocean or not.  Otherwise I will be in touch with your father and he’ll have your ass on the next plane home.”  He paused and I heard a female voice in the background.  “Not now, Rochelle,” he growled in a tone that I had only heard when he had used with me once or twice before when things were good between us.  Quickly his voice turned back to the hatred ice I had become accustomed too as he spoke once again how I better realize that I will have my duties once he has a ring on my finger.  I couldn’t listen to it anymore without holding back my tears so I just cut him off and said good-bye. 
“Why do you say that you love him when he talks to you like that?” Steven said quietly as I fell into his arms sobbing uncontrollably.
“I told you already...” I said between hiccups.


“Why was he so angry?” I asked.
“Because I didn’t answer the phone at the apartment,” she said as if it made complete and total sense.  I wanted to scoff at the idea it was something so petty, but I kept my mouth shut and just rocked her back and forth in my arms for what seemed like an eternity.  Soon her tears were all dried up and she was pulling out of my arms.  “I must go,” she said, not looking at me.
“Why don’t you spend the rest of the evening here with me, we can just relax and watch a movie or something,” I pushed.
“Nein.  I need to go home.  Stewie is probably thinking I have deserted him.  I will help clean up but then I will have to leave.”
“Everything is already cleaned up…”
“Okay, then I will say goodbye to everyone,” she said, wobbling as she stood.  She was still obviously very upset.
I quickly stood up to steady her as I took her chin in my hand, forcing her to look up at me.  “I’m sorry if I have caused you trouble.”
“It ist not your fault, Steven,” she said sadly as she looked at me, but I could tell she was hesitant on staring into my eyes for too long.  “It ist mine.  I should have known better.”
“Known better?!  Known better for what?!  You did not come to the U.S. to be a prisoner or work slave…” I blew up.  “You shouldn’t be letting him treat you like that!” I roared as I began pacing back and forth in the guest room.  “God, he doesn’t fucking deserve you if he treats you like that.  Don’t you see?”
When I turned back to look at her, she was still as a stone and her face held no expression.  “You do not understand, Steven.  Please, stay out of it,” she said with no emotion as she attempted to push past me.  I grabbed at her arms a little rougher than I intended to.  I instantly realized because I felt her stiffen and almost cower; the same reaction she had last night.  I immediately left go and before I could say anything she was running down the steps and out the door without saying goodbye to anyone.

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